So, kids and parents. Generally speaking, kids and parents regard each other as objects, not people. …

So, kids and parents. Generally speaking, kids and parents regard each other as objects, not people. It starts in infancy: my baby does not get any of the privileges of a fully realized person. He cannot choose whether or not he wears clothes, he cannot play with what he likes, etc. Basic safety. He's an adorable little thing. Same with me, to him. I provide the milk, I rescue him from jail and I make funny noises when he pulls on my face. All very fundamental. Both sides are reasonably happy with this equation.

Conflict arises when, for whatever reason (and reasons vary), one side or the other starts rebelling at being a thing and the other side doesn't understand why. I think kids rebel first; I think this is adolescence. Kids start realizing they're a person and that they quite often have desires different than what their parents want. Parents don't like their adorable objects acting willful and there's unhappiness on both sides. And eventually kids grow up and parents realize this and respect them as people (in a healthy relationship) and life moves on.

I think it takes much longer for the average child to realize their parent isn't an object the same way. I'm guessing it doesn't come until after college for many.

Obviously relationships vary and all. Just musing on the stereotypical kind.

#blog  

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